Moving Forward, Threats of Being Pushed Back

HRC sent me an email after the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was signed into law. I will share with you now some of the troubling quotes it included.

"We are now stuck with sexual deviants serving openly in the U.S. military... If historians want a fixed marker pointing to the instant the United States sealed its own demise, they just found it."
– Bryan Fischer, American Family Association

"The American military... has now been hijacked and turned into a tool for imposing on the country a radical social agenda."
– Tony Perkins, Family Research Council.

"This action will be overturned in the next Congress."
– Matthew Staver, Freedom Federation

"The repeal of the 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' law is a disaster of historic proportions and it must be reinstated. My organization and others will to fight to make sure that happens."
– E. W. Jackson, Stand America PAC

Yes, the end of the military has come again. The first time it ended was when the United States decided to desegregate white and black soldiers (which came before the desegregation of public schools in America, FYI).^[1]

Desegregation of the United States armed forces was commanded as an executive order by President Harry Truman in 1948.

On a side note; it wasn't until 1967 that the Supreme Court declared anti-miscegenation laws a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment.^[2]

Will it take 19 more years for gay and lesbian Americans to have full marriage equality?

Back on the topic of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, were you all aware of the thousands of gay and lesbian service members who were already serving in the military? I mean, you cannot have discharges under DADT without LGB-identified service members. They must have been there the whole time. They have been forced to stay silent about their spouses back home and keep their mouth shut about what they did on their days off. They have always been there, so-- it may just be me, but I'm having trouble seeing how the American military will be coming to an end just because these brave heroes are given permission not to have to lie about their lives.


I have heard the argument made time and time again that openly gay soldiers will be a distraction during training and on the battlefield. Um, does that mean that these gay people will be distracted by an overwhelming lustful urge for their fellow soldiers? Going back to what was stated earlier, gay people have always been serving in America’s military, so no, lustful urges will probably not be a problem for them (unlike their heterosexual male counterparts who apparently cannot control their lustful urges).

Honestly, I think the only people who will be distracted by the sexual orientation of these service members would be those people who are plagued by what we call “homophobia.”

Just like integrating blacks into the armed forces presumably caused a massive distraction for those people who harbored racism; the ridiculous assumptions and beliefs in unwarranted stereotypes about a people they were ignorant about, these men will be distracted by their own homophobia.

Is it the gay person’s fault? No. If a person is being so overcome by hate and discomfort because the guy next to him in his foxhole is gay that he can’t fire is weapon straight, that is his own fault. His feelings are his problem, and less and less people in the United States are able to relate to his sentiments. Homophobes, you are in the minority. If you cannot play nice with the guy next to you in the foxhole, despite their religion, way of life, political beliefs, or otherwise, what are you doing down there, man?

It was about time America eliminated this archaic, discriminatory policy. It is good to see us catching up to the United Kingdom, Spain, Australia, Canada, and at least nineteen others that allowed openly gay and lesbian service members before us (their militaries still seem to be up and running, FYI).^[3]

Sources:
1. http://www.texarkanagazette.com/news/WireHeadlines/2010/10/31/desegregation-in-military-offers-lessons-8.php
2. http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/historics/USSC_CR_0388_0001_ZO.html
3. http://www.palmcenter.org/files/active/0/CountriesWithoutBan.pdf

On Another Side Note:
I realize there is so much more going on in America’s military than crouching in foxholes and firing weapons. I was just using that example because it is similar to an example Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe liked to talk about when discussing DADT.

Kasha Jacqueline is my new hero.

There is so much I want to say about this right now.

I guess I will start with pointing fingers.

Ugandan courts are debating right now over a bill which will put any suspected gay person in Uganda to death. People who know someone is gay but do not report it will receive three years in prison.

Places with lower levels of education often have higher levels of homophobia.

Uganda thinks this is okay to kill these people because they think these people choose to be attracted to people of the same sex. They associate being gay with being possessed by demons and with doing all sorts of dirty, gross things in bed. They associate being gay with gross sex and demons, because it is against their god's will.

Why would someone choose to be gay in an environment like that? While there are people like that on almost every country, why would anyone choose to be gay anywhere?

Why would anyone choose to be pushed against lockers or thrown out of religious universities? Why would anyone choose to be ostracized by their family, even possibly by their entire community? Why would anyone choose a life of imprisonment? Why would anyone choose the death penalty?

People of faith often pick and choose which verses of their holy books to value and live by.

Facts are facts. Whether you choose to believe them or not, they are still there, and they are still true. You can make yourself comfortable in your own little bubble of idealized religion and accuse everything different than what you are use to or everything you are uncomfortable with an act against your god, but you are really blinding yourself with your own ignorance.

And it is people like you who are causing things like this.

It is people like you who cause LGBTI-identified youth to make an attempt at their own lives four times more often than their straight counterparts.

You people have blood on your hands.

Thanksgiving

When I'm with a large group of relatives, I get to feeling a little self-conscience. Some of them know and some of them don't. I wouldn't mind if they all knew. It's no secret.

I wonder where my future wife and I will fit into the whole family equation. Will be welcomed and accepted, automatically without a second thought, like any other couple would? Will we be taken seriously? Will people say, "Ariel and her 'friend'?"

What about my future kids? Could I bring children into such a family of differences? I don't know if I want kids for sure, but I don't want my fear of being a different kind of family to be a final deciding factor.

This video gave me a lot to think on.



I have a cousin who moved to Canada a few years ago. She has two kids and lives with her new wife. I'm always surrounded by models of straight families. I wish I had a model similar to how my family will be that I could look up to... My future family life feels like a giant unknown right now.

Strangers Like Me

I won my high school's writing contest with this story. Admittedly, I was the only student to submit a short story, but I've shared it with a few people and they seemed to really like it. I thought I'd share it with the public.

FYI, I had a 1,500 word limit. It is a bit of a summary. The end comes quick. It was going to end sad, but I really, really didn't want it to.

Jessica turns on the TV. There is a cartoon on about two girls who like each other. She changes the channel to a reality show about a man looking for a boyfriend. Every cartoon and every TV show involves men liking men and women liking women. Jessica’s moms come in to tell her it’s time for school.

At school, there are girls talking about girls and boys talking about boys. Jessica’s friend wants to know which girl she likes or when she will get a girlfriend. Jessica does not know how to answer. She does not like girls, she likes boys. She has never heard of girls who like boys, though, so she keeps quiet. In class, the teacher reads a book about a prince who marries a prince. He asks the students to write their own fairytales. Girls write about marrying princesses and boys write about marrying princes. Jessica leaves her paper blank.

A few years later, Jessica is a teenager. Guys are dating guys and girls are dating girls. Same-sex couples walk down the halls holding hands and kissing. Jessica’s female teachers talk about their wives and kids and her male teachers talk about their husbands. Jessica still does not have a girlfriend. She has tried talking to some girls before, but it did not feel right to her. She tries to keep the fact that she likes boys hidden, but people start to catch on. Jessica can hear people talking about her between classes. They say she is disgusting, sick, twisted, and other words. People steal her things. Teachers do not smile at her in the hall anymore.

One day, Jessica gets called into the principal’s office. Someone started a rumor about her kissing a boy at a school football game. The principal tells her that she does not approve of this sort of behavior at school and that it is highly inappropriate. She releases Jessica with a warning.

Jessica looks through the library for a book to do a report over for class. Every book involves a romance involving two girls or a romance involving two guys. She picks up a book, Strangers Like Me, and reads the summary on the back. It is a book about a girl and a guys who like each other. Jessica’s eyes grow wide and her heart starts to pound. She checks the book out and smiles for the rest of the day.

Jessica sees herself reflected in the book’s pages. The main character, Ellie, likes boys, but all her friends like girls. The world tells her that her feelings are wrong. Ellie ends up getting picked on at school and kicked out of her home when she tells her parents about her new boyfriend. Jessica wonders if her parents would ever kick her out. She does her report on the book for class and hands it in.

A week later, Jessica’s English teacher is talking about the school’s library tossing out some books. When Jessica asks why, her teacher answers,
“There were some books with themes that the principal didn’t think were appropriate for school.”

Jessica goes to the library and looks around for Strangers Like Me. She cannot find it. She looks for any books like it, but there are none to be found.

Jessica is called into the office again. This time, the principal called her parents to talk about her “inappropriate” book report. Jessica’s English teacher had turned it into the office. Jessica feels sad, angry, and betrayed. Her parents are upset. They wonder what they did wrong. The principal recommends counseling. Jessica’s parents say no, they will have a talk with her.

Jessica is in her room, crying. Her parents are very ashamed of her. They said they did not raise her to like boys and told her she will be happy once she finds a girl to be with, like she was meant to be.

Jessica feels helpless. She does not think she did anything wrong. She is simply feeling. She wonders how everyone can be so angry at her for how she feels. People do not choose who to love, right? Jessica thinks this must be exactly how Ellie feels. She wonders about other boys and girls out there like her. Are there any in her school? Do they feel as miserable as she feels? Will they search that barren library for evidence that what they are feeling is real, that other people exist like them?

Jessica cannot smile. She wakes up unhappy everyday and drags her feet from class to class. Sometimes she looks at boys in the hall and stops herself, feeling ashamed. She sits in class and feels dejected. She can hear people talking about her between bells. She tries to ignore the words, but it is hard.
“Sicko.”
“Freak.”
“Go to hell.”
Jessica starts to feel overwhelmed. On the weekend she stays in her bed and cries.

Waking up is hard. Getting dressed is hard. Eating is hard. Sleeping is hard. Jessica's parents decide Jessica is going through a phase. They put on big smiles and pretend like they never told their daughter how let down they felt. They talk about attractive women celebrities Jessica is expected to be attracted to. They talk about setting her up with their friend's daughters. Jessica avoids talking to her parents whenever she can.

Jessica is in her room. The lights are off and the blinds are drawn. Her parents are gone. The house is quiet. She wonders if this is what is feels like to be dead. Death would not have this much worry, she thinks. Death would not involve walking into school tomorrow. Death would not involve hateful comments or disappointed parents. She starts to make a plan.

Jessica writes down a list of her favorite things. She decides to give her bike to a girl down the street and her diamond earrings to her little cousin. She will not need them soon, anyway.

Jessica stops turning in homework and zones out in class. One day, she skips class altogether. She stays home, in bed, with the TV on. She tries to write a letter but words do not come easy. She lays down, surrounded by crumpled balls of paper. They will know why, she thinks. She looks over at the little white bottles on her dresser.

Something on the TV catches Jessica’s attention. There is a celebrity, Ellen, talking to the camera on the verge of tears.

“I want anyone out there who feels different and alone to know that I know how you feel, and there is help out there and you can find support in your community.”

Jessica is staring at the screen. She is frozen, not even blinking, concentrating so intensely on what this woman is saying. A number appears at the bottom of the screen. Jessica unfreezes and writes the number down on a crumpled suicide note.

Ellen’s voice really starts to quiver as she delivers her last line.

“Things will get easier, people’s mind will change, and you… you should be alive to see it.”

Jessica starts to cry.

Jessica hangs up the phone and puts all her parent’s medicine back in the cabinet. She brushes her hair for the first time in days and washes her face.

The number was a helpline for teenagers like Jessica feeling hopeless and lost. Jessica stayed on the phone until she had cried herself out and until she did not feel like she needed to cry anymore.

The person on the phone told Jessica that there was nothing wrong with her. Some girls liked boys and some boys liked girls, he said. Many people are afraid of people who are different than them. He directed Jessica to a website aimed at preventing teen suicide and helping people like Jessica overcome hate and prejudice

Jessica now feels that high school is not life. Soon, she will be out, and she is certain that there are other people out there like her and she feels determined to live happily.

Several years later, Jessica calls home. It’s Christmas. Jessica is on the phone with her parents.

“Hi, how is your Christmas? Mine’s good. I spent it with Johnny.”

There is silence on the other end for a few long, uneasy seconds before her parents abruptly change the subject.

They stopped telling Jessica that she was going through a phase, but they are not completely okay with Jessica liking men yet. It is hard sometimes, but Jessica does not hold it against them. She knows by now that changing minds takes time. She has decided to help with that change by helping other teenagers like herself. She is studying child psychology, so maybe one day she can be the voice of hope on the other end of the line, speaking to her past self, telling them that life will get better if only they hold on.

Authors Note:

The title, Strangers Like Me, also shares its name with a Phil Collins song, “Strangers Like Me”, which served as inspiration for this story. No lyrics were directly taken from the song and added to the story.

Ellen’s words are the words of an actual person, Ellen Degeneres, delivered on her talk show on September 30, 2010.

The Ellen Degeneres Show. By Ellen Degeneres. NBC. KMYT-DT. 8 September 2003.

That is everything I submitted.

My school librarian started to ban books with homosexual themes. It was that and the string of lgbt-identified teenage suicides in the media's spotlight at the time that inspired me to write this, along with Jenna Anne's video, "What does it mean to be a lesbian?" Feel free to tell me what you think.

(click to view full size)

People tend to get really defensive when I point out that the Bible has been translated and misused to deny people rights for generations.

Just because Christianity is the post prominent religion in the US, biblical principles should be forced on applied to everyone. It's not like we have freedom of religion in the United States or anything.

A picture's worth some words.

Signs at the Breaking The Silence 2010 event in Knoxville, TN.

Click to see them in full.