Moving Forward, Threats of Being Pushed Back

HRC sent me an email after the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was signed into law. I will share with you now some of the troubling quotes it included.

"We are now stuck with sexual deviants serving openly in the U.S. military... If historians want a fixed marker pointing to the instant the United States sealed its own demise, they just found it."
– Bryan Fischer, American Family Association

"The American military... has now been hijacked and turned into a tool for imposing on the country a radical social agenda."
– Tony Perkins, Family Research Council.

"This action will be overturned in the next Congress."
– Matthew Staver, Freedom Federation

"The repeal of the 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' law is a disaster of historic proportions and it must be reinstated. My organization and others will to fight to make sure that happens."
– E. W. Jackson, Stand America PAC

Yes, the end of the military has come again. The first time it ended was when the United States decided to desegregate white and black soldiers (which came before the desegregation of public schools in America, FYI).^[1]

Desegregation of the United States armed forces was commanded as an executive order by President Harry Truman in 1948.

On a side note; it wasn't until 1967 that the Supreme Court declared anti-miscegenation laws a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment.^[2]

Will it take 19 more years for gay and lesbian Americans to have full marriage equality?

Back on the topic of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, were you all aware of the thousands of gay and lesbian service members who were already serving in the military? I mean, you cannot have discharges under DADT without LGB-identified service members. They must have been there the whole time. They have been forced to stay silent about their spouses back home and keep their mouth shut about what they did on their days off. They have always been there, so-- it may just be me, but I'm having trouble seeing how the American military will be coming to an end just because these brave heroes are given permission not to have to lie about their lives.


I have heard the argument made time and time again that openly gay soldiers will be a distraction during training and on the battlefield. Um, does that mean that these gay people will be distracted by an overwhelming lustful urge for their fellow soldiers? Going back to what was stated earlier, gay people have always been serving in America’s military, so no, lustful urges will probably not be a problem for them (unlike their heterosexual male counterparts who apparently cannot control their lustful urges).

Honestly, I think the only people who will be distracted by the sexual orientation of these service members would be those people who are plagued by what we call “homophobia.”

Just like integrating blacks into the armed forces presumably caused a massive distraction for those people who harbored racism; the ridiculous assumptions and beliefs in unwarranted stereotypes about a people they were ignorant about, these men will be distracted by their own homophobia.

Is it the gay person’s fault? No. If a person is being so overcome by hate and discomfort because the guy next to him in his foxhole is gay that he can’t fire is weapon straight, that is his own fault. His feelings are his problem, and less and less people in the United States are able to relate to his sentiments. Homophobes, you are in the minority. If you cannot play nice with the guy next to you in the foxhole, despite their religion, way of life, political beliefs, or otherwise, what are you doing down there, man?

It was about time America eliminated this archaic, discriminatory policy. It is good to see us catching up to the United Kingdom, Spain, Australia, Canada, and at least nineteen others that allowed openly gay and lesbian service members before us (their militaries still seem to be up and running, FYI).^[3]

Sources:
1. http://www.texarkanagazette.com/news/WireHeadlines/2010/10/31/desegregation-in-military-offers-lessons-8.php
2. http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/historics/USSC_CR_0388_0001_ZO.html
3. http://www.palmcenter.org/files/active/0/CountriesWithoutBan.pdf

On Another Side Note:
I realize there is so much more going on in America’s military than crouching in foxholes and firing weapons. I was just using that example because it is similar to an example Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe liked to talk about when discussing DADT.

Kasha Jacqueline is my new hero.

There is so much I want to say about this right now.

I guess I will start with pointing fingers.

Ugandan courts are debating right now over a bill which will put any suspected gay person in Uganda to death. People who know someone is gay but do not report it will receive three years in prison.

Places with lower levels of education often have higher levels of homophobia.

Uganda thinks this is okay to kill these people because they think these people choose to be attracted to people of the same sex. They associate being gay with being possessed by demons and with doing all sorts of dirty, gross things in bed. They associate being gay with gross sex and demons, because it is against their god's will.

Why would someone choose to be gay in an environment like that? While there are people like that on almost every country, why would anyone choose to be gay anywhere?

Why would anyone choose to be pushed against lockers or thrown out of religious universities? Why would anyone choose to be ostracized by their family, even possibly by their entire community? Why would anyone choose a life of imprisonment? Why would anyone choose the death penalty?

People of faith often pick and choose which verses of their holy books to value and live by.

Facts are facts. Whether you choose to believe them or not, they are still there, and they are still true. You can make yourself comfortable in your own little bubble of idealized religion and accuse everything different than what you are use to or everything you are uncomfortable with an act against your god, but you are really blinding yourself with your own ignorance.

And it is people like you who are causing things like this.

It is people like you who cause LGBTI-identified youth to make an attempt at their own lives four times more often than their straight counterparts.

You people have blood on your hands.

I can't share this video enough.

Thanksgiving

When I'm with a large group of relatives, I get to feeling a little self-conscience. Some of them know and some of them don't. I wouldn't mind if they all knew. It's no secret.

I wonder where my future wife and I will fit into the whole family equation. Will be welcomed and accepted, automatically without a second thought, like any other couple would? Will we be taken seriously? Will people say, "Ariel and her 'friend'?"

What about my future kids? Could I bring children into such a family of differences? I don't know if I want kids for sure, but I don't want my fear of being a different kind of family to be a final deciding factor.

This video gave me a lot to think on.



I have a cousin who moved to Canada a few years ago. She has two kids and lives with her new wife. I'm always surrounded by models of straight families. I wish I had a model similar to how my family will be that I could look up to... My future family life feels like a giant unknown right now.

Strangers Like Me

I won my high school's writing contest with this story. Admittedly, I was the only student to submit a short story, but I've shared it with a few people and they seemed to really like it. I thought I'd share it with the public.

FYI, I had a 1,500 word limit. It is a bit of a summary. The end comes quick. It was going to end sad, but I really, really didn't want it to.

Jessica turns on the TV. There is a cartoon on about two girls who like each other. She changes the channel to a reality show about a man looking for a boyfriend. Every cartoon and every TV show involves men liking men and women liking women. Jessica’s moms come in to tell her it’s time for school.

At school, there are girls talking about girls and boys talking about boys. Jessica’s friend wants to know which girl she likes or when she will get a girlfriend. Jessica does not know how to answer. She does not like girls, she likes boys. She has never heard of girls who like boys, though, so she keeps quiet. In class, the teacher reads a book about a prince who marries a prince. He asks the students to write their own fairytales. Girls write about marrying princesses and boys write about marrying princes. Jessica leaves her paper blank.

A few years later, Jessica is a teenager. Guys are dating guys and girls are dating girls. Same-sex couples walk down the halls holding hands and kissing. Jessica’s female teachers talk about their wives and kids and her male teachers talk about their husbands. Jessica still does not have a girlfriend. She has tried talking to some girls before, but it did not feel right to her. She tries to keep the fact that she likes boys hidden, but people start to catch on. Jessica can hear people talking about her between classes. They say she is disgusting, sick, twisted, and other words. People steal her things. Teachers do not smile at her in the hall anymore.

One day, Jessica gets called into the principal’s office. Someone started a rumor about her kissing a boy at a school football game. The principal tells her that she does not approve of this sort of behavior at school and that it is highly inappropriate. She releases Jessica with a warning.

Jessica looks through the library for a book to do a report over for class. Every book involves a romance involving two girls or a romance involving two guys. She picks up a book, Strangers Like Me, and reads the summary on the back. It is a book about a girl and a guys who like each other. Jessica’s eyes grow wide and her heart starts to pound. She checks the book out and smiles for the rest of the day.

Jessica sees herself reflected in the book’s pages. The main character, Ellie, likes boys, but all her friends like girls. The world tells her that her feelings are wrong. Ellie ends up getting picked on at school and kicked out of her home when she tells her parents about her new boyfriend. Jessica wonders if her parents would ever kick her out. She does her report on the book for class and hands it in.

A week later, Jessica’s English teacher is talking about the school’s library tossing out some books. When Jessica asks why, her teacher answers,
“There were some books with themes that the principal didn’t think were appropriate for school.”

Jessica goes to the library and looks around for Strangers Like Me. She cannot find it. She looks for any books like it, but there are none to be found.

Jessica is called into the office again. This time, the principal called her parents to talk about her “inappropriate” book report. Jessica’s English teacher had turned it into the office. Jessica feels sad, angry, and betrayed. Her parents are upset. They wonder what they did wrong. The principal recommends counseling. Jessica’s parents say no, they will have a talk with her.

Jessica is in her room, crying. Her parents are very ashamed of her. They said they did not raise her to like boys and told her she will be happy once she finds a girl to be with, like she was meant to be.

Jessica feels helpless. She does not think she did anything wrong. She is simply feeling. She wonders how everyone can be so angry at her for how she feels. People do not choose who to love, right? Jessica thinks this must be exactly how Ellie feels. She wonders about other boys and girls out there like her. Are there any in her school? Do they feel as miserable as she feels? Will they search that barren library for evidence that what they are feeling is real, that other people exist like them?

Jessica cannot smile. She wakes up unhappy everyday and drags her feet from class to class. Sometimes she looks at boys in the hall and stops herself, feeling ashamed. She sits in class and feels dejected. She can hear people talking about her between bells. She tries to ignore the words, but it is hard.
“Sicko.”
“Freak.”
“Go to hell.”
Jessica starts to feel overwhelmed. On the weekend she stays in her bed and cries.

Waking up is hard. Getting dressed is hard. Eating is hard. Sleeping is hard. Jessica's parents decide Jessica is going through a phase. They put on big smiles and pretend like they never told their daughter how let down they felt. They talk about attractive women celebrities Jessica is expected to be attracted to. They talk about setting her up with their friend's daughters. Jessica avoids talking to her parents whenever she can.

Jessica is in her room. The lights are off and the blinds are drawn. Her parents are gone. The house is quiet. She wonders if this is what is feels like to be dead. Death would not have this much worry, she thinks. Death would not involve walking into school tomorrow. Death would not involve hateful comments or disappointed parents. She starts to make a plan.

Jessica writes down a list of her favorite things. She decides to give her bike to a girl down the street and her diamond earrings to her little cousin. She will not need them soon, anyway.

Jessica stops turning in homework and zones out in class. One day, she skips class altogether. She stays home, in bed, with the TV on. She tries to write a letter but words do not come easy. She lays down, surrounded by crumpled balls of paper. They will know why, she thinks. She looks over at the little white bottles on her dresser.

Something on the TV catches Jessica’s attention. There is a celebrity, Ellen, talking to the camera on the verge of tears.

“I want anyone out there who feels different and alone to know that I know how you feel, and there is help out there and you can find support in your community.”

Jessica is staring at the screen. She is frozen, not even blinking, concentrating so intensely on what this woman is saying. A number appears at the bottom of the screen. Jessica unfreezes and writes the number down on a crumpled suicide note.

Ellen’s voice really starts to quiver as she delivers her last line.

“Things will get easier, people’s mind will change, and you… you should be alive to see it.”

Jessica starts to cry.

Jessica hangs up the phone and puts all her parent’s medicine back in the cabinet. She brushes her hair for the first time in days and washes her face.

The number was a helpline for teenagers like Jessica feeling hopeless and lost. Jessica stayed on the phone until she had cried herself out and until she did not feel like she needed to cry anymore.

The person on the phone told Jessica that there was nothing wrong with her. Some girls liked boys and some boys liked girls, he said. Many people are afraid of people who are different than them. He directed Jessica to a website aimed at preventing teen suicide and helping people like Jessica overcome hate and prejudice

Jessica now feels that high school is not life. Soon, she will be out, and she is certain that there are other people out there like her and she feels determined to live happily.

Several years later, Jessica calls home. It’s Christmas. Jessica is on the phone with her parents.

“Hi, how is your Christmas? Mine’s good. I spent it with Johnny.”

There is silence on the other end for a few long, uneasy seconds before her parents abruptly change the subject.

They stopped telling Jessica that she was going through a phase, but they are not completely okay with Jessica liking men yet. It is hard sometimes, but Jessica does not hold it against them. She knows by now that changing minds takes time. She has decided to help with that change by helping other teenagers like herself. She is studying child psychology, so maybe one day she can be the voice of hope on the other end of the line, speaking to her past self, telling them that life will get better if only they hold on.

Authors Note:

The title, Strangers Like Me, also shares its name with a Phil Collins song, “Strangers Like Me”, which served as inspiration for this story. No lyrics were directly taken from the song and added to the story.

Ellen’s words are the words of an actual person, Ellen Degeneres, delivered on her talk show on September 30, 2010.

The Ellen Degeneres Show. By Ellen Degeneres. NBC. KMYT-DT. 8 September 2003.

That is everything I submitted.

My school librarian started to ban books with homosexual themes. It was that and the string of lgbt-identified teenage suicides in the media's spotlight at the time that inspired me to write this, along with Jenna Anne's video, "What does it mean to be a lesbian?" Feel free to tell me what you think.

Urgent action ugrently needed for the urgent pushing of the urgent repeal of DADT urgently

I am part of the HRC's email action network and I received this email earlier today:

The Senate has a quick four-week session before they leave for the 2010 election. It's critical that they repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in this short window – and time is running out.

Lots of people believe that repeal is a foregone conclusion. But I need you to know: this is not a done deal. We've had to fight to the end for every victory we've won, and this is no different.

If we don't speak up now, our window for repeal could close. Anti-gay constituents are calling Senate offices with lists of right-wing lies: that open military service would increase sexual assault, trample on the religious freedom of military chaplains, and put "twisted sexual desires" ahead of national security.

We have a 100-senator strategy to make sure bigotry and deception don't win out just before we reach the finish line.

It takes about 45 seconds to call each one of your senators and urge them to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" before they leave for the election. It's just as important for supportive senators to hear from us – they need to know we're counting on them to get a repeal to President Obama's desk this year.

You may never have called Congress. That's fine. It couldn't be simpler.

1. Before 5 p.m. ET, call Sen. Tom Coburn at (202) 224-5754 and Sen. James Inhofe at (202) 224-4721 – tell each staffer who answers where you live, so they know you are a constituent. Then say: "I'm calling to urge the Senator to push for repeal of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' in the next four weeks, before the election."
2. Most calls end right there, but if you'd like, you can add:
* Americans recognize that on the battlefield, it doesn't matter whether a soldier is lesbian, gay or straight; what matters is that a soldier gets the job done.
* This law hurts military readiness and national security. It puts American soldiers at risk.
3. Be sure to make TWO calls – one to each of your senators.
4. IMPORTANT: After you hang up, click here to let us know that you made the call. This enables us to tell lawmakers just how many people have called.

Senate staff are accepting calls – and keeping tabs on what constituents care about, so senators will know what to focus on when they return for this short, busy session.

We've laid years of groundwork to get to this point, but unless we push harder than ever, there's no guarantee it will happen.

The House has already passed a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. This is the last step before it goes to President Obama's desk. So we need to turn up the pressure in the Senate to make sure our window of opportunity doesn't close!

Thanks for your help. Please pass this email on to your friends and family.

Sincerely,

Joe Solmonese
President

If you live in Oklahoma, please call senators James Inhofe and Tom Coburn. If you live in a different state, call the senate switchboard here - (202) 224-3121 It will direct you to your senators.

You won't regret calling! Trust me. I just did and I felt so empowered! >D

OVERTURNED

YES.

Just... YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES.

Proposition 8 OVERTURNED!

YES!

Unconstitutional.

Unofficial Copy of the Prop 8 Decision
Thank the people who made it happen

Proposition 8 case Perry vs. Schwarzenegger decision due tomorrow

It's happening tomorrow. The monumental court decision that will decide on the civil rights of gays and lesbians across California, declaring their right to marry or pushing them back to second-class citizenship.

The federal court announced today that it will release its decision in the American Foundation for Equal Right’s landmark case, Perry v. Schwarzenegger, on Wednesday. Text “EQUAL” to 69866 to get a text message with the official decision on your mobile phone the moment the court releases its decision, or sign-up for an email alert at equalrightsfoundation.org. Join AFER on its Web site to watch a live press conference with our plaintiffs and co-counsels Ted Olson and David Boies following the release of the decision. As we receive news about the details of the release, AFER will update our Facebook and Twitter profiles, along with our Web site.
(via Joe. My. God.)

Groundbreaking. Monumental. Historic. Immense. Significant.

Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Waiting. Hoping. Dreading. Expecting.

The Military

Here are some troubling statistics I bet you've never heard of:

In 2003, in a survey of female veterans conducted by the University of Iowa, funded by the US Department of Defense, 30% of the 500 female veterans interviewed reported an attempted or completed rape.

90% of rapes in the military are never reported.

84% of Navy women said they have been victims of sexual harassment.

Another 2003 report financed by the Department of Defense revealed that nearly one-third of a nationwide sample of female veterans seeking health care through the VA said they experienced rape or attempted rape during their service. Of that group, 37 percent said they were raped multiple times, and 14 percent reported they were gang raped.

A 2004 study of veterans from Vietnam and all the wars since, who were seeking help for post-traumatic stress disorder, found that 71 percent of the women said they were sexually assaulted or raped while in the military.

In an earlier study conducted in 1992-93 with female veterans of the Gulf War and earlier wars, 90 percent said they had been sexually harassed in the military, which means anything from being pressured for sex to being relentlessly teased and stared at.

The results of a change in policy in 2005 allowing sexual assaults to be reported confidentially in �restricted reports� resulted in the number of reported assaults across the military jumping 40 percent, to 2,374, but still most are not reported.

A nine-month study of military rape by the Denver Post in 2003 found that nearly 5,000 accused military sex offenders had avoided prosecution since 1992.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8511010.stm
http://dissidentvoice.org/Apr07/Zeese14.htm
http://www.nwlc.org/pdf/Military%20Harassment.pdf

So, clearly heterosexual men should be banned from the military because they cannot control their lustful urges.

In all seriousness, these stories and statistics are not being reported on at the rate they're happening, but false statistics and ridiculous pretend situations are being studied and reported on at a rapid pace on how gay men will go on a crazy raping spree if allowed to serve openly in America's military. Yes, because that has been happening for years in the UK, Canada, Israel, Sweden, and Australia. Their militaries have just turned into one gigantic gay orgie.

So... taking the ASVAB this year should be fun.

(click to view full size)

People tend to get really defensive when I point out that the Bible has been translated and misused to deny people rights for generations.

Just because Christianity is the post prominent religion in the US, biblical principles should be forced on applied to everyone. It's not like we have freedom of religion in the United States or anything.

Look How Beautiful

(insert something inspirational here about how amazing newborns are and about how they give hope and new meaning to life)

Every summer. I enjoy these times.

10 years in the making.

Camp, camp Tallchief. Camp, camp Tallchief.

Camp Tallchief is a Girl Scout camp in Oklahoma. I've been attending for 10 years now as a camper and a CIT (counselor in training). Ever since I can remember, it has been my goal to be a CIT and eventually a counselor. I am so proud of this camp. It is amazing and employs amazing people that touch the lives of hundreds of girls each summer. Attending that camp has certainly changed my life, and I hope I can live up to the words, "Professional Role Model" that mark the back of Tallchief's staff shirts. I've certainly acquired several positive role models over the years from camp and I'm excited and nervous to take my place among them and be someone those campers can look up to.

I intern as a counselor for two weeks in July.

I <3 you, Camp Tallchief.

A picture's worth some words.

Signs at the Breaking The Silence 2010 event in Knoxville, TN.

Click to see them in full.

Something big will happen tonight.

My exchange student sister, Annie. Fox 23, another local station, did an interview also. I can't find it online, though. My dad and the president of the school board are in it, too. There is a meeting tonight deciding on whether Annie will be able to graduate tonight.

It has been over a month since this was brought up to the school board.

There are 12 days before graduation.

I hope a decision is made tonight, and I hope it will be the right one.

If not, there is already a protest planned for graduation. Several of Annie's senior friends will be handing Annie their diploma as they walk across stage.

If Annie does not graduate this year she can take a GED, but because she is going back to Vietnam in the summer and you must register two weeks before each test she might loose her scholarships. She's suppose to attend OSU this fall...

(I am the one with the poofy hair :P)

Today is dreary

I'm sending a picture email to blogspot. We'll see if this will work...

Whiny blog of while earlier that may be elaborated on or deleted. I now know that I can miss lunch as school and survive.

Nothing is being done in track for the rest of the year. Nor history, nor English. Drama really gives out no work, and chemistry is still in full swing. It shall be taking up all my time soon.

Thinking about school pizza has made me hungry. Going to eat my feelings when I get home. Omnomnom.

The picture I sent was taken a couple months ago when some friends and I went to tour OSU. Fun day. My GPS took us into a super posh hotel for Starbucks. Everyone looked at us like we shouldn't have been in there, but we got our coffee.

picture messages have a limit of 1000 characters, so I shall be wrapping this up soon...

Will be posting scholarship essays and other fun picture things on here in the future, I think...

Going to suffer through chemistry homework now or study for the AP English test.

Thank you for using Picture and Video Messaging by U.S. Cellular. See www.uscellular.com for info.

I am at a crossroad.

Junior year is coming to a close. Senior year is fast approaching. I will be going to college. Soon I will have to make some choices.

I've been doing a bit of research on colleges, majors, and careers lately. I am exceptionally undecided right now, but these are a few things I've been considering for a while...

Concerning colleges, we have:


OSU
Oklahoma State University
Stillwater, OK

Pros: My wonderful Vietnamese exchange sister Annie is planning to attend this fall. It's only about an hour and thirty minutes away from home. In-state tuition fee is awesome, plenty of scholarships available, reasonable choices, nice campus. I've been up there several times. It already feels like a place I could just go down to and chill for a while if I wanted. All minimum AP scores are 3's, so I'll be getting some credit if this year's tests go well.

Cons: Other people from school will be going there, though. People say that everything changes in college, but even still, I would rather not stay in contact with quite a few people whom I attend school with right now. I want a do-over. A fresh start, and I plan on being less reserved in college as well on more then one aspect concerning myself. And orange. Bleh.


UNT
University of North Texas
Denton, TX

Pros: It's only a few hours from home, but enough to be away from it all. A new scene, a fresh start, on my own, and that's really what I'm coming to expect out of college. Tuition isn't bad and scholarships are completely obtainable there. Those majors. Oh man. So many majors. Huge campus is huge. It's a big school, but that means more people to meet and a bigger selection of clubs and classes. And green. Oh yes.

Cons: Housing and other things will be more expensive since I'm not a resident, but it's really nothing close to Rice University or Hamilton's cost. Farther dive from home and the parents, but I don't expect to be coming home nearly every weekend or anything. It just makes it harder to come up for things like Mother's Day and birthdays. My AP European history test score will have to be at least a 4 to get any sort of credit, also. My AP English should be okay, though. It has lots of people, but that also means crowded classes. This is not a college that brags on its student-teacher ratio. I'd rather not be taking classes in an auditorium.


Texas A&M
College Station, TX

Pros: Nice, big, selective school. My family loves the football team. I look awesome in that maroon-ish red color. Also a school with a wide selection of things. It's a big name. A little more expensive, but also not way out there, either. Attractive major options, attractive looking campus, attractive selection of merit-based scholarships. It also ranks high on the equality, openmindedness, friendliness, all-inclusiveness scale, if you know what I mean. For real, it is nationally ranked.

Cons: No AP European history credit. I have to make a 4 on AP English. Again, a large number of students most likely means a large number of classmates. A matter of hours away, but too far to just come up whenever I'd like to. Nearly everything else I mentioned about UNT..

Those are only the universities I'm most seriously considering right now. I'm also looking at Tampa University, Boston University, and possibly even Tulsa University depending on where life takes me this next year. I have quite a bit of time left I know, and people can change over a matter of 11-12 months, especially kids. I just feel very pressured to have to settle on something and make all these major decisions now. I figure I just have to stay open-minded about things. Career path's my major concern while looking for colleges anyway. Which brings me to the next topic..

Careers:

Attorney

Pros: I'm good with words. English is my strong point. I like reasoning and I'm good at it if it's not with my dad or individuals who see no reason to consider reason. Good salary. Quite a few career options that fall under a law degree. I also like that is requires you to be clever.

Cons: I do not like the idea of working with people, though. Divorce and bankruptcy, I could do it but I would not enjoy it. There is still quite a bit of research I've been meaning to do about this career path, but those are my exceptionally inelaborate pros and cons.

Geneticist

Pros: Genetics are AWESOME. Human genetics. Jellyfish genetics. The Human Genome Project. Just all of it. Oomf. Fascination. Lab work is something I thing I'd really enjoy and all the high profile scientific journals are all over this career field right now. It's spreading like poison ivy. There's endless things left to discover about the human genome and the things that can be done with genetics. Genetic engineering is living the dream, basically.

Cons: Math. My Achilles' heel in the anatomy of academia. I despise it so. Any college offering a degree in genetics seems to offer it like a math major with just a little biology and chemistry lab thrown in on the side. I've never taken a more stressful, crazy-making class then calculus. I'd like to avoid maths if at all possible in a college environment.

Journalist/Photojournalism

Pros: Travel. Camera fun, writing fun, interview and data fun. If I'm working for a major organization, it could become an giant passion project. If I work for a science journal, it could be a combination of career fields and interests.

Cons: Popular career field. Competition like crazy. The possibility of having to deal with censored stories or images. The need to show things in an unbiased manner.

Doctor

Pros: Being a smarty pants with lots of know-how about medical things. I'd know my own body better and be able to help other people. I'd really want to be a surgeon so I could be the one doing the cutting and giving some of the orders. High salary isn't so bad, either.

Cons: Standing and walking all day. Not so bad, but it's physically demanding as well as intellectually demanding. That working with people's problems thing comes into play here also. I'm not against people entirely, but it seems to be the other way around sometimes, but with professional standing that's likely to change. Personal morals come into question a lot. What if someone died under your knife? Would I have a clear enough mind from one surgery to the next? Also, about 12 years of being a student and working as an intern. And math. Ew. Tons of math here also. I can take blood and guts and gore, but math makes my stomach churn.

Again, just a few options I've been considering lately. I've set my goals pretty high, and I could reach anything if I pushed myself hard enough. My main focus is to just enjoy life. I want to end up loving where I go to school. I want to be the dork who wears the school's color all the time with a school bumper sticker on my car and involved in tons of clubs and maybe even sports (track and field!). With my career, too, I want it to be my passion. I fully expect it to be something I love, not only something I need to do to get by.

I'm young. I'm optimistic. I have big dreams. I have important decisions to make.

I also have a fish. His name is Kaiser. He was won at the fair for me. He's swimming around in a tiny bowl on my bookshelf. I love fish. I missed having them around.

Ramblerambleramble. I'm done. Bed for me.

Happy first blog post.